Review: Stilts Man FALLs at Fairfax Festival Parade, CA

In today's America stinker politicians have tried to make dung upon typical white people by being like wall street is better than main street. Today's movie fights that point-of-view by showing what main street has to offer like our fine-feathered friend the peacock might show it's colorful feathers to show that it can fornicate with the best of 'em. In this look at the very cool town of Fairfax, CA we see that an everyday cruise down main street is a real feast for the senses. There's cool noises like music and a man on a microphone saying something nice. There are lotsa cool colors to enjoy looking at. There are even clowns which perform upon leg-extensions which are entitled stilts. Sometimes the stiltmen remain atop their stilts. Still other times they cannot maintain their balance and succumb to gravity much like the apple which fell upon William Tell's bow and arrow. This movie highlights one of those hilarious instances in which a stiltman falls, inducing smiles abound. I think I might submit this movie to my favorite e-site that showcases these types of chucklefests-- failblog.org. Failblog is a very underground site which posts vids and pics of like men falling onto their testes or things about to fall on their testes and it is hosted by Full House's Bob Saggle the guy from Hollywood Squares. It usually will say in large letters FAIL to indicate that the he who gets his testes squished will fail to reproduce and his line will die out via natural selection. This gets you every time and causes you to experience gutbustin laffs. Sometimes if the videoman avoids getting his wrinkly bits smashed, the opposite of FAIL, SUCCEED, will flash instead. This is good for business because I learned that it is good to diversify your products from business school from television.

Recommendation: wait what was I talking about?

Rating: I'm guessing 4/5

Review: Porn Movie Titles

Porn movies are movies in which mums and pups do tha stankle in order to proliferate their genes. Today's movie is a look behind the scenes at one of the important steps in the production (or making-time)of these types of filmmes-- the name-making bit. Hollywood fat cats shell out the dollas to people like TheGoldenTones to come up with goof'd up titles that are based on previous Hollywood films but with some type of sexual pun incorporated. For example, consider the NBC goofer Parks and Recreation. An appropriate porn parody title might be Farce 'bout Procreation. It's a very funny and good but rare skill and only the strong survive, of which TheGoldenTones is included to whom because. In this video he showcases his good talent and cracks us up all in the same instants. He's a regular kookooberra. Highlights include rimpin on Hollywood movie Click starring funnieman Adam Sandleman as a ol' fahrt who can't find where the heck he put the remote. TGT fires his creativity cannon and offers the parody title Dick, which is a subtle reference to the male peep-peep. Some titles he leaves unchanged, however, out of respect for the america. These include Harry Potter 2: The Chamber of Secrets and Harry Potter 3: Harry Potter and the Ghoultown Spooks. In the dramatic zenith of today's film our main man shakes his camera all around as an allusion to the good/bad movie Blair Witch Project, a reference for real movie buffs to reflect upon.

Recommendation: Check out this thought-provoking romp

Rating: 4/5 Kookooberras sittin in an ol' gum tree

Review: Twilight is GAY! Lord of the Rings is GAY! Harry Potter is GAY!!

The Twilight Saga is a load of movies that have set the world abuzz. Some people think that the movies are very good. Others think they are very bad or it is for girls or homosexuals. Today's filmmaker/star is of the latter opinion. In response to the Twilight movies, she decided to fight fire with fire (figuratively; more literally fight movie with movie) and rebutt with a movie all her own. In it she repeatedly makes the assertion that the movies are homosexuals, which is sinful. She cites that the vampires and werewolves portrayed in the films are "dumbed down" for mass audiences who can't handle the real mccoy spook stuff cuz they are so dumdum. She goes on to list a number of other films as sinners. She is so over popular movies that are pooped into theaters near you and me because she is an above average consumer who can see through the lies. She says she is tired of shellin out the big bucks on movies and being disappointed because they are bad. While I don't agree with her in full, I do agree that I am tired of spending money on a movie and then it being different than I had expected in that it was better than I had expected. I don't like feeling so unprepared to experience an emotion. Still, we can unite in a common cause to stop homosexual movies from ruining our eyeballs because it is Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve even though Steve and Eve rhyme.

Recommendation: Do yr duty and watch this movie

Rating: 4/5 Rimrams

Review: Improv Night - Press Conference

Improv comedy is when someone is funny without planning on it. Even though the jokes might not be as funny as they'd be if the joker had practiced, they are just as enjoyable to listen to because they make you go WOW HE JUST CAME UP WITH THAT ON THE SPOT! People also like improv because sometimes the audience is allowed to participate, which makes you feel like your life is worth a darn and that is a nice feeling to have. In today's movie, a comedy troupe (kinda like a gang whose weapons are funny jokes instead of guns and knives) from the prestigious South Kitsap High School dare us not to laugh by goofin in the zone. They play an improv game where the Ringleader sends the bitch he most hates to the back so the audience can come up with a new identity for her to assume because her old one just isn't up to snuff. When she comes back the other players ask her questions press conf style that give her clues as to who the heck she might be. It's fun and funny. The Ringleader wears a shirt with text that is partially obstructed. It says "This is____." One can only assume the last line says "funny" or "good" because that is what this movie is. Rule numero uno in doing an improv is always make the audience think of something funny. Therefore the Ringleader begins by quoting funnyman Will Frenkel. This sends the crowd into a laff-frenzy which noticeably makes the Ringleader feel very good. He decides to ride it out and makes the entire game a quote fest of Will Frenkel. The audience laughs and laughs and smiles as they are reminded constantly of their fave Frenkel moments. Ultimately, one player slams the ball home by mentioning the instrument the cowbell, which is the subject of a very funny Frenkel joke that funny people quote at concerts when they want to prove how much attention they deserve. The audience loses their poop and everyone is very happy.

Recommendation: get a babysitter for the kids and go see this movie with your sig oth!

Rating: 4/5 funny quotes

Review: Jason end of season Soccer party 2006

Sports movies are a very good form of entertainment because they mix the thrill of the game into the movie batter. People love to watch these movies and root for the underdog because it reminds them of their fave Bible story, Dave v. Goliath, which is where the little guy takes down the bully. People love to read this Bible story because it reminds them of in high school when the nerd gets the revenge which belongs to him, and then they think of very funny movies and this makes them smile and laugh. This particular sport film takes us to the soccer field, which would be called the football field in the rest of the world. In the dramatic (film for "very interesting") climax (film for "orgasm of the story"), our hero Jason gets chewed out by the evil coach at the end of the year pizza party/trophy ceremony. Coach says something like "There is literally nothing positive to say about the disgraceful way you played this season except that you are a little less awful than when you first started. You cost us the big game you little C." Coach tells a very hateful anecdote about how at the first practice Jason couldn't run laps with the rest of the team because he was probably too busy thinking about snacks. Just when things look really bad for our hero, however, he overcomes the odds and receives his trophy for participation. Despite Coach's best efforts, Jason has gotten dat bling and will put it on top of his dresser when he gets home to scream from the mountain top that he's got mad participation skills. It is implied that he then goes back to his seat to do what he does best and munch on some za.

Recommendation: You won't need a participation trophy if you see this movie because the participating is an end in itself because the movie is so enjoyable.

Rating: 4/5 Soccer Ball Kicks

Review: A Tribute To Guy Fieri and Smashmouth

Every year there is an awards ceremony called Oscar's Awards Ceremony that allow We, The People to just say thanks guys to the moviemen for making the movies that cast a smile upon our hardened hearts. During each ceremony there is a segment with a movie that helps us think all about an important movieman who died for his country. This year's entry was a tribute to celeb chef/white entertainer Guy Fieri. Guy was known for being the resident badass of Food Network, a TV network on the B cable antenna. He pioneered very cool fashion with his trademark frostie tips, goatee, and sunglasses, which are basically like reg specs except they make the world a shade darker. He would always act very cool and say things like "these are some money Tostino's Brand Pizza Rolls" or "this slice of white bread is outta dis world." He was also the lead singer of Smashmouth, one of the prolific hitmakers of our time. His lyrics were the narrative of a generation who just wanted to be an NBA all-star and wondered what the heck would it be like to walk on the sun anyway? Well now he is an NBA all-star in Heaven, walking on the sun with some angels forever and ever amen.

Recommendation: watch movie

Rating: 4/5 TGIF Potato Skin Appetizers

Bonus Footage:

Review: Christian Comedy - David Crowder Band Impression

Stand-up comedy is where a modern-day jester gets up in front of lots of nice people and makes them laugh and laugh. Oodles of stand-up comedians (people who do stand-up comedy) have made movies in order to bring the laughs to folks who can't make it to the show that night, which is very nice of them. One such comedian is the funny man with the puppets. Another such comedian is the star of today's filmme David Ferrell. David is probably the greatest comedian since Dante (author of the Divine Comedy and the Da Vinci Code). One look at him and you'll say "I trust this man will make me laugh" and you will smile. He wears a Loony Tunes tie to show that he is not just some lameass stiff who would wear a regular man's tie and also to show that he is gonna do some loony comedy. In this selected "excerpt" (film for "small movie") he does a very funny impression, which is where you act like someone that you hate to show how awful you think they are. The person he impresses appears to be a lead singer for a Christian rock group. I don't know who it is but I have faith (pun) that the impression is spot on. David Ferrell is my favorite comedian because he is 100% funny but also 100% clean, which is the highest percentage known to man. He really shoots egg all over the face of other pottymouth comedians who think you need to use tons of fuck-words to make people think you're cool.

Recommendation: recommended

Rating: 4/5 100%'s